tezoar illustration

- and the destruction continues!

I love my days off!

This weekend: Flogging Molly! I will remember my skanking shoes, oh yes

- I’ve managed to distract myself with two choice nuggets this time round. First, one possible answer to humanity’s greatest question: What Would Brian Blessed Do?

This actually happens a lot - mere mortals cannot cope with Brian Blessed’s voice being directed solely at them. Changing the subject completely, here’s Timothy:

aw yeah! Get them drums!

In other news: I went to see Anti-flag the other night, and have some lovely fresh bruises cropping up mm hmm, I couldn’t really walk when I got outside which will teach me about wearing my oh-so-flimsy baseball shoes then spending their whole set in the pit. Sploooch!

- either I have cracked under the pressure or I am genuinely lazy and am only now stumbling on the bandwagon, but either way here is my take on the mysterious ‘draw yourself X years ago’ thing that I’m seeing so much of these days:

I’m going to cut that mohawk back in soon as I can figure out how to get away with it at work. Wait, I’ve got it: religious reasons!

aw yeah, gonna mohawk me up gooood

- I had me a busy night and now it’s done:

and now I’d better get to work…

- I happened upon a kids’ book today, for some reason the bad guys were ‘ninja pirates’. Or maybe pirate ninji, I forget. I didn’t read it, but I’d imagine their ninja skills would be severely hampered by their irresistible urge to get drunk all the time and go ‘arrr!’. But the main question the existence of ninja pirates raises for me is this: everybody knows these two are mortal enemies*. What could possibly get them together?

I have here a historical reconstruction of the fateful event:

Sorry giant crab, your attempts at romance have backfired disastrously.

* or is it cowboys and zombies? I forget…

- you ask what is going on here?

HASSLEHOFFS!

that is all.

- Well now it’s been a while, what have I been up to? I suspect the guy doing my tattoo has been kidnapped by angry moles, this doesn’t bode well - moles are notorious for confusing fingers for worms, and I wouldn’t want a tattoo from a guy whose new nickname was ’stumpy’. When that wasn’t happening I went to see Dave Gorman (nice man, not as wrathful as when he did Googlewhack), and when I wasn’t doing that I was trying to find an alternative to teacakes. There is no alternative to teacakes, this doesn’t bode well for me…

But anyways. While everybody else I know is playing GTA IV till their eyes bleed, I’ve come up with the beginnings of a new series of gig posters for the Illusion Principle, who have forgone their far too-bloody-many-lettered name in favour of Flames Across Tokyo. Which has more letters. Ah shite.

So while I figure out how to shoehorn these crazy-long band names into legibility (having dates and line-ups and things like that would help, Hobson) here’s my crazed roughed-out narrative mess:

squirrel meets nut, falls for nut, loses nut in barrel of radioactive waste…

radioactive squirrel raises radioactive merry hell…

stopping for a fight to the death with Mecha-Hamster because there’s still some city to flatten…

then mysteriously negative-ed radioactive squirrel fights evil space squid who has thiefed his lovely nut…

It’ll all end in tears. Tears of radioactive horror!