- I happened upon a kids’ book today, for some reason the bad guys were ‘ninja pirates’. Or maybe pirate ninji, I forget. I didn’t read it, but I’d imagine their ninja skills would be severely hampered by their irresistible urge to get drunk all the time and go ‘arrr!’. But the main question the existence of ninja pirates raises for me is this: everybody knows these two are mortal enemies*. What could possibly get them together?

I have here a historical reconstruction of the fateful event:

Sorry giant crab, your attempts at romance have backfired disastrously.

* or is it cowboys and zombies? I forget…