- Well now it’s been a while, what have I been up to? I suspect the guy doing my tattoo has been kidnapped by angry moles, this doesn’t bode well – moles are notorious for confusing fingers for worms, and I wouldn’t want a tattoo from a guy whose new nickname was ’stumpy’. When that wasn’t happening I went to see Dave Gorman (nice man, not as wrathful as when he did Googlewhack), and when I wasn’t doing that I was trying to find an alternative to teacakes. There is no alternative to teacakes, this doesn’t bode well for me…

But anyways. While everybody else I know is playing GTA IV till their eyes bleed, I’ve come up with the beginnings of a new series of gig posters for the Illusion Principle, who have forgone their far too-bloody-many-lettered name in favour of Flames Across Tokyo. Which has more letters. Ah shite.

So while I figure out how to shoehorn these crazy-long band names into legibility (having dates and line-ups and things like that would help, Hobson) here’s my crazed roughed-out narrative mess:

squirrel meets nut, falls for nut, loses nut in barrel of radioactive waste…

radioactive squirrel raises radioactive merry hell…

stopping for a fight to the death with Mecha-Hamster because there’s still some city to flatten…

then mysteriously negative-ed radioactive squirrel fights evil space squid who has thiefed his lovely nut…

It’ll all end in tears. Tears of radioactive horror!